There’s a reason I talk so much about the table. It’s not because I love dishes (though I do love my Fiesta Ware), or because I think you need a Pinterest-worthy setup. It’s because the way we set the table is where legacy begins.
In my latest episode of The Way We Sit at the Table—available now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts—I unpack something I believe deeply: hospitality isn’t a personality trait—it’s a leadership tool. And how we sit, serve, and show up at the table says more about our character than just about anything else.
This blog expands on that conversation with a little research, a whole lot of heart, and a few ways you can bring intention back to your meals—even if you’re eating boxed mac and cheese with toddlers.
What Hat Etiquette Teaches Us About Respect
One of the first things I teach in my etiquette workshops is simple: your hat doesn’t belong on the table.
That might sound old-fashioned, but it’s not about the hat—it’s about what it represents.
When you take off your hat before sitting down, you’re saying: “This moment matters. These people matter. I’m setting aside my distractions and showing up.”
In the Western world, honor isn’t just about titles. It’s about gestures. And removing your hat is one of those subtle ways we lead with humility. (More on that in my Adult Showmanship course).
Slowing Down: What Europeans Know That We Forgot
Here in America, we’re raised on fast food and faster schedules. Most of us eat meals in 20 minutes or less, sometimes standing up or multitasking. According to The Atlantic, nearly 60% of American families rarely eat dinner together at all.
Meanwhile in Europe, dinner is a ritual. Countries like France, Italy, and Spain build their evening around the meal. It’s not rushed—it’s savored. In Spain, it’s normal to begin dinner at 9 or 10pm and linger until midnight. (Business Insider)
And the thing is? They’re not just making memories. They’re improving digestion, deepening relationships, and reinforcing values.
When we slow down and give mealtime some margin, we teach our kids that life isn’t a race. We teach our guests that they’re worth our time. And we teach our hearts how to rest.
Want a good place to start? Switch to Continental dining.
What Is Continental Dining (and Why I Teach It For The Way We Set The Table)
In American-style dining, we cut with the knife in the right hand, then switch the fork over. It’s clunky, a little awkward, and definitely not efficient.
In Continental dining, the fork stays in your left hand and the knife in your right. You never switch. There’s rhythm to it. Flow. And honestly? It naturally slows you down.
I teach Continental style not to be fancy, but to be intentional. It helps you focus on one or two bites at a time, chew more slowly, and stay in the moment.
It’s also super helpful at formal dinners, conferences, and ag banquets where you want to feel confident and calm.
Hospitality is Leadership (Not Performance)
If you hear nothing else from me today, hear this:
Hospitality isn’t about entertaining. It’s about influence.
Whether you’re inviting someone over for coffee or hosting a sponsor dinner, the way you set the table and welcome people into your space is a reflection of your values.
Real hospitality isn’t about having a spotless house. It’s about creating a soft place to land.
When you set the table with care—even if it’s plastic forks and a frozen pizza—you’re saying: “You matter here.”
Want to deepen this mindset? Check out my free download below or explore more on my coaching page.
Tools to Help You Start
I put together a free resource to go along with this message, because I know it’s one thing to believe in legacy and another to build it.
🎁 Download the Table Talk Legacy Toolkit
Includes:
- 5 etiquette tips for Western gatherings
- My favorite 5-minute hospitality hacks
- 10 table conversation starters
- My tips for cowgirl-style networking
Final Thoughts About The Way We Set The Table
At the end of the day, legacy isn’t built in one big moment. It’s built in a hundred small ones.
In how we set the table.
In how we pass the bread.
In how we linger a little longer instead of rushing to clear the plates.
Let’s be women who slow down. Who invite others in. Who lead from the dinner table with grace and grit.
Because whether it’s a branding pen or a branding meeting, your posture, your presence, and your hospitality will outlive the moment.
That’s the kind of legacy I’m building—and if you’re here, I bet you are too.
🕯️ Want to stay connected? Subscribe to my email list for more tools, stories, and slow-paced inspiration.
You may also like:
- Adult Showmanship: Western Etiquette for Today’s Leaders
- Table Talk Legacy Toolkit
- Why Hospitality Is the New Leadership
Pin this post or share it with a friend who’s craving deeper connection.
Because it all starts with the way we set the table.